Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Metro Council...gone mad?

Mom, in honor of your birthday, I present to you two of the most amusing ideas that our government here in Nashville have proposed. Why? Because I know you, of all people, will appreciate the idiocy of these two, of many, horrifying proposals from my fair city. If this happened down in your neck of the woods, there would be riots in the streets...

First of all, tonight it is actually going up for vote to actually pass a bill making it illegal for city departments to use any other language but English in their signage, communications, or voicemail systems! (That means our Spanish-speaking friends couldn't even have the option to "Press 2 for Spanish".) Demoralizing, no? Can you even wrap your head around this actually being considered? No, but in Tennessee, it is still 1920 when it comes to this kind of thing... So much for opening our doors to the international community and all of the economical and cultural benefits they would bring to our city.

Secondly, and this has only been suggested, there is a councilman who has suggested upping the tax on coffee (!) as a sort-of "sin tax" along with cigarettes and alcohol...which would, of course, raise money for the education of our children. Nice guise, there, huh? What's next Councilman Isabel...taxing my tea, Diet Coke, and for the love of God, CHOCOLATE? Might as well...they all have the same drug, hence the same sin, right?

In the spirit of our forefathers at another tea party, I propose turning the Cumberland into a nice mocha latte to get the point of our dismay across...

So, there you have it, Mom...I know you want me to move back to Miami, but if I did I would miss so much comedy that this town renders!

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