Thursday, August 31, 2006

Diana

Today I raise my glass to the late Princess of Wales. It was 9 years ago today that I was at my aunt's house, and she woke me up to the news. Having been an admirer of hers for years, I jumped out of the bed and ran to the television. My aunt lives out in the country and (still) does not have cable. I was missing my CNN bad that morning. I was completely shocked...it couldn't be possible that a person so full of life and beauty could be gone in the blink of an eye. Another reminder of our mortality and to treasure every day we are blessed to have.

A couple of years ago, the Diana exhibit was at the Ft. Lauderdale Museum of the Arts. I was fortunate enough to be able to take my mom and daughter to it. I will never forget how breathtaking her wedding gown was. The case filled an entire room and the train of the dress was amazing. TV did not do the dress justice. I had always thought the dress was frumpy. Up close it had intricate beading and detail that was practically invisible on the television and in pictures. It was an incredible experience to see so many articles from her life so close.

So once again we commemorate the life of one of the most influential women of our time. May she rest in peace.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Hysteria (Part 2-Insomia & Healing)

Things are definitely looking up in my recovery. I feel like I turned a corner this week, and that there is light at the end of this tunnel I've been in. Doc said everything "looks good" and I'm cleared to return to work on 9/11 (that date always makes me stop in my tracks!). He gave me a low dose of estrogen to take, and I am happy to say that I have had no hot flashes since, thank God. I still have tinges of pain, especially when I twist the wrong way...it feels like I'm pulling stitches internally-yikes!

The thing I am battling now more than anything is insomnia. I can't fall asleep until 11:30pm. Then every night, without fail, I wake up at 2:30am. I watch tv for an hour, and then go back to sleep. It seems like my deepest sleep is between 5 & 7am...which isn't helpful when I am soon to be getting up at 5:30am again. grrrr! Now I know why there is so much marketing of sleep aids, because there are probably millions of people in the extremely frustrating position of not being able to sleep. It is not only an inconvenience, it is a major health issue.

I still have to take it easy and off my feet so much, hence the multiple blog posts...not much else I can do yet. Oh, and I no longer have to use the Wal-Mart motorized scooter to shop! Progress...yipee!

I am amazed at how the body heals itself. In one month, I have experienced going from being cut open to now walking and functioning again. I am experiencing the miracle of healing, and I am grateful for it.

The Simpsons vs. Star Trek


I lovingly dedicate this video to my new friend, BigOrangeMichael. Live long and prosper.

Celebrity Duets

I watched Celebrity Duets last night, and for my opinion as to what they should have done, see my very first post on this blog.

It was worse than I could have imagined. First of all, why did they find D-list celebrities to participate in the competition? I would be having second thoughts about the whole thing if I were one of the super-star singers having to pair up with people like Cheech Marin and Chris Jericho. I must reiterate from my first blog post that it would have been better to pair them up with an average, everyday "nobody". At least there would be some charm to it.

If there was a favorite from last night, and I'm really racking my brain to find one, it would be Jai Rodriguez from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. He really has a good voice and stage presence. (I understand that he has some Broadway experience, so he really isn't an "amateur".) The others had pitch and placement problems all over the place. I loved it when Marie Osmond turned around to the booing audience (at her for telling one of the singers they were off pitch), and said, "uh, I have done some singing in my life!" You go, girl! She has only been harmonizing in perfect pitch with her brothers since she was, like, 3! She may not be your cup of tea, but you can't argue that she doesn't know a thing or two about entertaining and singing. Oh, and Little Richard was extremely annoying! Who bribed David Foster into participating in this mess?

Why oh why Simon?? What were you thinking???

All is well in Miami...

Just talked to my mom, and all is well in Miami. They still have winds and rain, but nothing like it could have been.
Good news, good news...

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Ernesto has arrived...

The outer bands of Ernesto have started to pound on South Florida. My brother has prepared Mom's house, garage, and yard for the high winds. They still had a tarp on the roof of her garage from Hurricane Wilma last year, so they had to remove it and improvise on protecting the inside. When a storm like this is approaching, they have to put away everything in the yard that could become a projectile...lawn furniture, garbage cans...anything loose. Otherwise, it could sail into a window or worse into a person if they are foolish enough to be outside during a tropical storm like this. These storms can set off tornadoes within the storm, so there is always the chance of rotating winds as well as straight line. South Florida has weathered these storms with class and endurance throughout the years, and I'm sure they will this time, too.

Monday, August 28, 2006

Go awayyyyy, Ernesto!


Mom, it's time for that long-overdue vacation to Nashville!

I thought they only used dogs for dinner over there...

Woman crashes car when trying to teach dog how to drive... 3click there

This hurts!

Every year, Beloit College comes out with a list of things that today's incoming college Freshman relate to, as a reminder to their professors that there is a large generation gap these days...

BELOIT COLLEGE'S MINDSET LIST® FOR THE CLASS OF 2010

Members of the class of 2010, entering college this fall, were mostly born in 1988. For them: Billy Carter, Lucille Ball, Gilda Radner, Billy Martin, Andy Gibb, and Secretariat have always been dead.
1. The Soviet Union has never existed and therefore is about as scary as the student union.
2. They have known only two presidents.
3. For most of their lives, major U.S. airlines have been bankrupt.
4. Manuel Noriega has always been in jail in the U.S.
5. They have grown up getting lost in "big boxes."
6. There has always been only one Germany.
7. They have never heard anyone actually "ring it up" on a cash register.
8. They are wireless, yet always connected.
9. A stained blue dress is as famous to their generation as a third-rate burglary was to their parents'.
10. Thanks to pervasive headphones in the back seat, parents have always been able to speak freely in the front.
11. A coffee has always taken longer to make than a milkshake.
12. Smoking has never been permitted on U.S. airlines.
13. Faux fur has always been a necessary element of style.
14. The Moral Majority has never needed an organization.
15. They have never had to distinguish between the St. Louis Cardinals baseball and football teams.
16. DNA fingerprinting has always been admissible evidence in court.
17. They grew up pushing their own miniature shopping carts in the supermarket.
18. They grew up with and have outgrown faxing as a means of communication.
19. "Google" has always been a verb.
20. Text messaging is their email.
21. Milli Vanilli has never had anything to say.
22. Mr. Rogers, not Walter Cronkite, has always been the most trusted man in America.
23. Bar codes have always been on everything, from library cards and snail mail to retail items.
24. Madden has always been a game, not a Superbowl-winning coach.
25. Phantom of the Opera has always been on Broadway.
26. "Boogers" candy has always been a favorite for grossing out parents.
27. There has never been a "skyhook" in the NBA.
28. Carbon copies are oddities found in their grandparents' attics.
29. Computerized player pianos have always been tinkling in the lobby.
30. Non-denominational mega-churches have always been the fastest growing religious organizations in the U.S.
31. They grew up in mini-vans.
32. Reality shows have always been on television.
33. They have no idea why we needed to ask "...can we all get along?"
34. They have always known that "In the criminal justice system the people have been represented by two separate yet equally important groups."
35. Young women's fashions have never been concerned with where the waist is.
36. They have rarely mailed anything using a stamp.
37. Brides have always worn white for a first, second, or third wedding.
38. Being techno-savvy has always been inversely proportional to age.
39. "So" as in "Sooooo New York," has always been a drawn-out adjective modifying a proper noun, which in turn modifies something else
40. Affluent troubled teens in Southern California have always been the subjects of television series.
41. They have always been able to watch wars and revolutions live on television.
42. Ken Burns has always been producing very long documentaries on PBS.
43. They are not aware that "flock of seagulls hair" has nothing to do with birds flying into it.
44. Retin-A has always made America look less wrinkled.
45. Green tea has always been marketed for health purposes.
46. Public school officials have always had the right to censor school newspapers.
47. Small white holiday lights have always been in style.
48. Most of them never had the chance to eat bad airline food.
49. They have always been searching for "Waldo."
50. The really rich have regularly expressed exuberance with outlandish birthday parties.
51. Michael Moore has always been showing up uninvited.
52. They never played the game of state license plates in the car.
53. They have always preferred going out in groups as opposed to dating.
54. There have always been live organ donors.
55. They have always had access to their own credit cards.
56. They have never put their money in a "Savings & Loan."
57. Sara Lee has always made underwear.
58. Bad behavior has always been getting captured on amateur videos.
59. Disneyland has always been in Europe and Asia.
60. They never saw Bernard Shaw on CNN.
61. Beach volleyball has always been a recognized sport.
62. Acura, Lexus, and Infiniti have always been luxury cars of choice.
63. Television stations have never concluded the broadcast day with the national anthem.
64. LoJack transmitters have always been finding lost cars.
65. Diane Sawyer has always been live in Prime Time.
66. Dolphin-free canned tuna has always been on sale.
67. Disposable contact lenses have always been available.
68. "Outing" has always been a threat.
69. Oh, The Places You'll Go by Dr. Seuss has always been the perfect graduation gift.
70. They have always "dissed" what they don't like.
71. The U.S. has always been studying global warming to confirm its existence.
72. Richard M. Daley has always been the Mayor of Chicago.
73. They grew up with virtual pets to feed, water, and play games with, lest they die.
74. Ringo Starr has always been clean and sober.
75. Professional athletes have always competed in the Olympics.
© 2006 Beloit College, Beloit, Wisconsin

Sunday, August 27, 2006

Scores & Results I Care About...

Tennessee Titans-6
Atlanta Falcons-20
CAN YOU HEAR THE SUCKING SOUND?

Miami Dolphins-10
Carolina Panthers-19
ARRRGHH!

Dale Jr.-3rd
'ATTA BOY! Keep it in the Top 10, baby...make to the Chase!

This Ain't Right...

K-Fed to Make His Acting Debut on CSI 3click there

Saturday, August 26, 2006

Low Blow

This guy is a loose cannon. Somebody please shut him up...

“You guys in New York can't get a hole in the ground fixed, and it's five years later. So let's be fair.”
— New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin

Headline of the Week

They have to be doing this on purpose...
Don't they? 3click there


(Thanks to Dave Barry)

Friday, August 25, 2006

Don't Marry a Career Woman?

I can't even believe we are still having this debate...did we time warp back to 1956?
Check out this hot topic from Forbes.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Hot Flash! Hot Flash! Hot Flash!

Oh my gosh, I never knew what the big fuss about hot flashes was until I was thrown into this surgically-induced menopause. Let me try to describe this: you are just hanging out, innocently typing on your keyboard, when suddenly something inside of you implodes and fire is going through the inside of your back, up your spine, and then blows out through your eyes. There is no word to describe the feeling of burning from the inside out. Oh well, at least my heating bill will be low this winter.

Ummmmm...

The challenge: telling your mom you're carrying a, ahem, sexual aid in your suitcase vs. 3 years in prison
The choice: 3 years in prison
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,210039,00.html

"I can see yellow and green."

This is only the second week of 1st grade for my darling daughter, and I am proud to say that yesterday she read her first full sentence! (See blog title for sentence of reference) I am amazed at how quickly they progress at this age. She was doing addition and subtraction in Kindergarten. When I was in Kindergarten, we were still playing with blocks!

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Ouch!

Man, he sure must've pi$$ed off the wrong person reeeeaaaallly bad.

Mama Bear Coming Out (by Proxy)

I got a call this afternoon. It was my friend asking if I had picked my daughter up yet. A child picked on and struck her daughter at school today, and she wanted to see if mine had witnessed it. All I can say is that I felt like a Mama Bear getting ready to defend my cub...except the cub wasn't mine, it was my friend's cub. I was so angry about it that I immediately went up to the school and stood in the office until the Principal spoke with my friend about the situation on the phone. If Mama Bear couldn't be there, then I was going to step in. The great thing is that I know she would do the same for me.

So if your kid is a bully, look out...we're comin' after you. Don't go pickin' on my cub or my friends' cubs...there's an Army of Mama Bears ready to defend our kids' right to an education free from violence!

Man Suing NASCAR Over Racial Slur

It took this long?

http://www.comcast.net/sports/motorsports/index.jsp?cat=AUTORACING&fn=/2006/08/22/460807.html&cvqh=itn_nascar

Hysteria

We now return to our regularly scheduled serious pontification. I am 4 weeks post-op from a Total Abdominal Hysterectomy. (That means they cut me in half to get my girl parts out). This was never in my plans for 2006, but after having unbearable pain for the last 6 months and missing work at least once per month, something had to give.

Our minds are so complex, aren't they? I'm 39, have a wonderful 6 yr. old (but had serious complications after her birth), and am divorced...so it is pretty obvious that I would not be having another child. Yet, when the doc told me post-op after a diagnostic laparoscopy, "Your only option is a total hysterectomy.", I was sort of in shock. I had even joked with him that if he saw anything in there that needed to be yanked out, have at it! Then I felt guilty for saying it after I realized that I should've been careful for what I asked for. So I dealt with a little bit of mourning for the removal of the girl parts. Will I still be fully female? Will I grow a beard? Obviously, what makes a person a woman is not just dependent on organs, but again, the mind is a strange complexity of subconsious thoughts you didn't even know you were having.

Let me just say, SURGERY SUCKED. When I awoke and they were trying to move me from stretcher to bed; I was in such horrific pain that I was reduced to BEGGING for something to help relieve the pain. I never dreamed a person could bear that much agony and live. At the bedside, I was given a Dilaudid PCA pump but was so out of it that my friend had to keep reminding me to push the button. I want to say that I made the mistake of blaming the nurses--thinking they were neglecting to give me enough pain meds, but after reviewing my chart found out that I had severe adhesions that they had to deal with in addition to a "normal" abdominal hysterectomy, and one of my RN friends informed me that would be why I had more pain than anticipated. I have hundreds, if not thousands, of stitches internally. I found out that in recovery, I was given Morphine, 2 doses of Versed, Dilaudid, Toradol, and then finally Valium by the end of the first day! It made my head swim, but didn't touch the pain. So they did do the best they could even though the pain was horrendous.

I just wish someone would have prepared me--my doc said he didn't want to frighten me, but I'm the type of person who wants to know what I'm headed for--that way I will know that it's ok, and "this too shall pass".

Time does heal all wounds. At week 4, I am doing much better--still in some pain--but at least I'm now able to get out of the house and drive. It is a little humbling to have to use the motorized wheelchair cart at Wal-Mart, though. I will never be impatient to have them get out of my way again. Until you've walked (or rode, as it were) in a person's shoes, you just don't know...

So there's the Part One of my hystory...more to come. Time for a nap.

Another Jet Diverted

This just in: a jet was diverted back to its airport of origin because a passenger sneezed.

Are pilots getting just a little too overly jumpy or are they being justifiably vigilant? At this point, I'm just not sure...

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

UT TP

Notice to my UT fan friends...
I have finished my Christmas shopping.


If You Wanna Hear Some Real Talent...

Check out the wonderful Mersaidee Soules 6pm tonight at the Bluebird .

The Wait Is Over!

Breaking News: Paris Hilton's album dropped today.
She said in an interview: "I, like, cry, when I listen to it..."

I'd probably cry if I had to listen to it, too.

Monday, August 21, 2006

Misheard Lyrics

Wishmaster


*thump* I just died laughing...

Snake On A Plane

My compliments to the New York Post for a most fitting headline.

Scum bucket John Mark Karr has arrived in the United States. The smug pervert enjoyed champaign and roast duck on his "business class" flight. (How was that allowed to happen?) Hope you enjoyed your last decent meal, you dog, because you deserve nothing more than stale bread and sewer water for the rest of your life.

Oh, by the way, how dare you defile my beloved Bee Gees' classic, "Words", by letting it pass through your crusty lips. You are not worthy!

Sunday, August 20, 2006

Scores & Results I Care About...

Tennessee Titans-10
Denver Broncos-35
YIKES

Miami Dolphins-13
Tampa Bay Buccaneers-10
THAT'S MORE LIKE IT

Dale Jr.-6th
SIGH

Rooster Update

Dave Barry has discovered a great use for my neighbor's rooster!
mmmmm...mmmmm...Good!

YUM
We are not sure what to say about this item, so we will
just say, "You first."

(Thanks to Justin Barber & Dave Barry)

Double-entendre noted. (wink-wink)

Saturday, August 19, 2006

Happy Birthday, Mr. President


Happy 60th Birthday to William Jefferson Clinton...aw, just call him Bill.
Thank you for the Family Medical Leave Act...I have had to utilize it twice, and it saved my butt. Thanks, Bill.

Friday, August 18, 2006

Rooster Drama

I have had the most unbelievable experience this week. My neighbors, who are wonderful people, acquired a rooster. The son got it as a Mother's Day joke. Of course, all of us in the neighborhood learned of the "gift" at 4:30am the next morning--and each & every morning ever since. Surely, these fine folks would send this farm animal to a proper home...a farm.

That was May, this is August.

So last week, the demon fowl was in my yard, as he was every single day, and my child could not stay out and play. The rooster chased my child and had recently chased her & a friend, too. Picture a 3 week post-op from a total hysterectomy, blonde, 39 year old, in her nightgown and robe trying to "shoo" the thing back over the fence with a broom. It only flew half way up the fence. I, being a city girl from Miami, did not know if roosters could fly or not, so with it not going back over, I assumed not. So I called Animal Control to ask if they would help me get it back over the fence. Ok, so maybe I'm naive to some functions of government, but I did not realize they would cite my neighbors for having to deal with the rooster. All I wanted was to get it out of my yard.

So I profusely apologized, pleaded for them to hear me out, tried to explain that I wasn't trying to get them in trouble. To no avail.

Now we're not speaking. Friends and neighbors for almost 10 years not speaking over a FREAKING ROOSTER!!!!

Aren't there more important things in life to be upset about?

Guess Which One I Am?


God bless you, Peter Zavadil for having a "regular" little camera that day...

Something Isn't Right Here

Yesterday, I ended the day thinking, "What a day for vindication...JonBenet and Janet March." Now in reading the reports on this nut, John Mark Carr, I am stepping back to wait and see. This guy is an obsessive pedophile who, in looking into his evil, glazed over eyes, is living in some warped out dream world. Reports are now saying that he was fixated on the case from day 1. He obviously had a sick fascination with young girls, marrying for the first time to a 13 year old. On his resume, he counts as one of his qualifications that he made sure each child he nannied "got their nightly bath". Yikes. The details he confessed to in that crazy "press conference" in Bangkok yesterday are full of holes. He says he "loved" JonBenet. It was an "accident". Blows to the head and a cord tied so tight around her neck that it almost disappeared into her flesh an accident? Idiot. It also appears that the authorities in Boulder are backtracking after all of the media hoopla.

How many times could the DA say "No comment." yesterday?

I dare to conclude that this guy became so obsessed with JonBenet and this case that he, for some sick reason, has felt the need to make himself a part of history by putting himself into the case.

For the sake of finally putting this fiasco to rest, I pray that I am wrong.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Obsessive Toilet Flushing Cat



You must play this!
Where is the kitty prozac when you need it?

G-U-I-L-T-Y

Finally, Janet, you have been vindicated...

The Tennessean
Thursday, 08/17/06
Perry March guilty

The jury in the Perry March murder trial today found March guilty of the second-degree murder of his wife, Janet March, who disappeared 10 years ago this month.March showed no emotion as the verdict was read. The verdict carries a penalty of 15-25 years in prison.March was also found guilty of abusing a corpse and tampering with evidence.The tampering with evidence charge carries a sentence of three to six years. The abuse of a corpse charge carries a penalty of one to two years.

The jury had the option of finding him guilty of several lesser offenses, including voluntary manslaughter, reckless homicide and negligent homicide, instead of the more serious charge of second-degree murder.

The body of Janet March, a 33-year-old illustrator and artist, has never been found, a point that March's defense drove home to the jurors in closing arguments on the eighth day of the trial.

"There's been one resounding theme throughout this case: no body, no body, no body, no body," defense attorney William Massey told the jury in closing.

Prosecutors, however, said there was no doubt that she was dead, and listed 23 reasons for jurors to reach the same conclusion, including the fact that March's father, Arthur March, has said he disposed of her corpse.

Prosecutors argued that Perry March killed his wife during an argument because she demanded a divorce.

The defense didn't dispute that Perry and Janet March had a troubled marriage. But his lawyers were sharply critical of Janet March's parents, Lawrence and Carolyn Levine, and the police investigation, claiming that it focused all of the investigators' attention on March, while excluding viable suspects in the case.

Some of the most damaging pieces of evidence used against March were jailhouse tape recordings of him plotting with an inmate to kill the Levines. March was convicted of conspiracy in that murder-for-hire case earlier this year.

Throughout the trial, the defense was critical of the number of inmates testifying against Perry March. Four inmates, including March's own father, provided evidence against him.

Arthur March pleaded guilty to conspiring to kill the Levines and will get 18 months in prison and three years of supervised probation and have similar charges in state court dropped for testifying against the son.

Massey told jurors that Arthur March was forced to cut a deal to avoid dying in prison and to keep his two other children, who'd been contacted by federal officials, from getting charged.

The defense attorney said that if they came away with nothing else from the trial, they should know that there are things in the system that need to be changed, referring to inmates who testify in hopes of getting their own charges reduced.The prosecution, using a PowerPoint presentation, noted that each inmate's story was backed up by another piece of evidence.

A Rite of Passage

Last night my 6 year old did something that I would dare say almost every kid has tried. She put her finger on the hot stove burner to see how hot it really was. You can tell them over and over not to touch it, but she's just like me and has to question everything and find out for herself if what she's told is really true.

And so this morning, she has a large blister on her little finger.

It was high trauma and drama in the household last night. I was afraid the neighbors were going call the cops, as her high pitched screams caused dogs in the neighborhood to howl. Thank God for Ziploc bags and chipped ice. This morning, no pain, but the big bubble which will impede her from the things a 1st Grader does with the pointer of their dominant hand. No doubt she will be the hero of the classroom today as she shows off her first war wound of the year.

God, I love being a mom!

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

I love this guy!

My favorite blog yet...
http://popcultureidiot.blogspot.com/index.html

Here's to Elvis

Today I raise my glass to the forever King of Rock & Roll. 29 years ago today I had gotten home from school, my mother was watching "Another World" (an old soap opera that is now defunct), and a scroll started on the bottom of the screen stating that Elvis had died in Memphis. I will never forget that day...for some reason, it was one of those defining moments in my life. I hope he truly got the peace he longed for much of his life.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Damn that Simon Cowell!

There is going to be a new show on Fox called "Celebrity Duets" for which Simon Cowell is the producer. So, I am all psyched to find out when auditions are so I can get in and sing a duet with my dream idol, Barry Gibb...only to find out that the show is 2 celebrities (one established singer and one star who isn't normally a singer) doing the show...like Dancing with the Stars. Oh well, I guess my only recourse is to get my friend Cleo's canoe on Old Hickory Lake and make my way to his new house w/ tape in hand. (Hey, if Kris Kristofferson can fly a helicopter to that house to drop off a tape for Johnny, I can take a canoe to Barry!)

Just a random thought...